i will never be happy - because i will never be satisfied. there will always be something somebody could have done better, there will always be something that is just out of reach for me, and i will undoubtedly be a disappointment to everybody who has the misfortune of dealing with me.
am in one of my self-pitying moods again (as you can already tell) - the sound of the tapping of a keyboard is chipping at whatever's left of my sanity; the too-frequent smiles driving little daggers into my heart. i hate how these things have so much power over me - i literally had to leave before i went hysterical and started yelling and inflicting bodily harm on myself; the walls are too thin and would cave under my punches.
it's times like these when i reenter one of the darkest recesses of my psyche, the corner against which i actively fight a (losing) battle in hopes of never having to revisit it
a lone question, luminous against the suffocating darkness of this cavern
why can't he be me?
