23 years and a week old, and i officially have lost the ability to think of anything to say.
you know - i think i should start being happier
(AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!)
this is very worrying - i don't normally suffer from writer's block.
-
am having random flashbacks of:
meeting up with people in the atrium and yelling at people (in a nice and friendly way, of course) from outside the pbl rooms, and selling things for random causes
how you almost told me the secret while we were preparing campaign paraphernalia during the src elections
how i felt the very moment i realised that you were more than just a friend - that slight sinking feeling and the brief dread when the words "oh shit. i really do like him." grew roots and settled comfortably in my brain. i didn't even mean to mean it when i was telling her, i just realised mid-sentence - it was during a diwali performance - and i knew that i was setting myself up for a shitload of trouble
(... and i couldn't have been more right. fml.)
smileys. rare smileys. the rarest smilies in the entire existence of mankind and all alien lifeforms.
turning up at tracy's practically every night
pseudo philosophical conversations in merv's room. merv playing spore. having to wake up early to go to csu on time.
feeling... guilty, but yet slightly excited at the prospect of "a new life" with the arrival of mr x (this is a different mr x) and thesocialexperiment
you saying that you'd pwn me at foosball (i had just started to get the hang of it), and me challenging you to a match but not actually meaning it, because i knew that this was the end and there was no point. not a day goes by without me wondering how you're doing.
-
i frequently tell myself that there is no way anybody could have possessed the ability to evoke such strong emotions in me, because i believe that i am no longer capable of feeling strongly for anybody at all anymore, but i also know that this is untrue, because at some point i decided to prophylactically make it a point to remind myself periodically that yes - he did make me feel like nobody could; i will deny this but i will be wrong. remember this.
and then i shrug and tell myself that i must be right.
and then i feel better. because i no longer feel that way.
-_- ok i need to go and sleep.
