i hadn't the foggiest clue about what was going to hit me.
27 months later and here i am - (almost officially) a doctor (somebody from the foundation school called me today and asked for dr lim, which i found slightly weird because i filled in all my employment forms as ms michelle lim lol)
in hindsight, even if i could manipulate time so that i could talk to myself before i started living here, i wouldn't know what to say.
don't beat yourself up over him - it's not going to be worth it. fact.
the oncologist you will embarrass yourself in front of with your pathetic bladder cancer presentation will turn out to be your mentor and will not remember your horrible performance (thank god) two years down the line - so don't worry!
people won't judge you over your english - which is perfectly fine by the way.
you really shouldn't have done your fourth year project on child psychiatry..................
no matter what happens, don't lose your niceness. you will miss it when it's gone and wish that you were still the same person you were before you left for dundee. also, when this happens, you will realise that you are now an extremely bitter person and you will hate yourself for it. don't let the bastards get you down.
it will be an extremely difficult 2 years and by the end of it, you won't even be able to say things like 'at least i had a few friends who were always there for me'. because there generally weren't. so please stop being dependent on your friends.
(ok i should probably stop sounding so bitter -_-)
but don't worry (again) la, you WILL graduate. good call on the OSCE thing - don't doubt your decisions! it was the right thing to do :))
you will fall in love with neuro-oncology, and senior clinicians will tell you that you are way better than you give yourself credit for. dr cw will probably have said the kindest words to you in a long time. she is right. :)
whatsapp will be your friend.
shit will happen to your closest friends and you will have front row seats and sometimes things will never be the same for them again - and you will have to learn to live with that.
you will meet drs sg and mh when you do your electives in johns hopkins (omg, can you imagine?!?!?!) - they will be among your greatest inspirations - PLEASE BE MORE OUTGOING AND CHATTY, YOU ARE CAPABLE OF MORE THAN WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dr rs will be one of the clinicians you like the best ever - because he is at least as weird as you! you will loooooooooooveeee him for it! HOWEVER, you should also be forewarned about the things you will hear and see and the thoughts that come with them before you embark on your 5th year gp block. HAHAHA.
yes i realised that all this is a thinly veiled excuse for me to emote and that it is too late because EVERYTHING THAT WILL HAPPEN HAS ALREADY HAPPENED
oh wait - please look out for mr x. :)
so whatever la ok, just be happy that this chapter of your life is over (you can now look forward to being paid, WOOHOO), and that you still have the rest of your life in front of you, and most importantly
you are now a doctor.
(who would've thought?!)
(who would've thought?!)
