you'll be fine
i will be! :)
-
you'll be fine
oh. will i?
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
24: done and dusted; and then there were 28.
wanted to blog on the last day of ortho but was too tired/ couldn't be bothered.
first day of general medicine, all tired out. supposed to be clearing - there were 28 admissions yesterday -_- never in my life, even in 4th and 5th year have i seen such an amount of patients................... managed to get home on time though (with help from kind fellow f1s and med students!
i supposed if i survived all this on my 24th consecutive day i should be able to survive whatever comes next! cannot bear the thought of going back to work tomorrow, today was traumatising enough! supposed to be 1st on (love how it sounds so cool), working from 0900 to 2200
AT LEAST I AM OFF THIS WEEKEND HALLELUJAH
was going to blog briefly about random cases i saw today but am too tired and should go to sleep now
good night!
ps. got called to go up to ward 7 (HAHAHAH) within 2 hours of starting my day to get an endoscopy request in for a boarder LMAO.
pps. gosh i miss ward 7 so badly :(((
first day of general medicine, all tired out. supposed to be clearing - there were 28 admissions yesterday -_- never in my life, even in 4th and 5th year have i seen such an amount of patients................... managed to get home on time though (with help from kind fellow f1s and med students!
i supposed if i survived all this on my 24th consecutive day i should be able to survive whatever comes next! cannot bear the thought of going back to work tomorrow, today was traumatising enough! supposed to be 1st on (love how it sounds so cool), working from 0900 to 2200
AT LEAST I AM OFF THIS WEEKEND HALLELUJAH
was going to blog briefly about random cases i saw today but am too tired and should go to sleep now
good night!
ps. got called to go up to ward 7 (HAHAHAH) within 2 hours of starting my day to get an endoscopy request in for a boarder LMAO.
pps. gosh i miss ward 7 so badly :(((
Sunday, December 4, 2011
21
i have been having some relevations as of late (and i hope that they are here to stay)
i was attending my first (and possibly last) trauma clinic session with mr gmcl and jr because i had to get a mini-cex and cbd signed off, and it was the best and most rewarding experience i've had since i started work. the exhilaration from being introduced as jr's colleague and as a junior doctor for the first time ever in an outpatient setting (pre-assessment clinics don't count), being treated like an adult, actually being allowed to read the patient's notes so that it would aid me in making my decision-making and being left alone to talk to and examine the patient and then to formulate my own diagnoses and then present it back to jr... it was so exciting, and i actually felt medically alive and that made my entire day! i was hooked after diagnosing the first patient (who had a lipoma - a very simple diagnosis which wouldn't be worth mentioning under normal circumstances but baby steps!), so much so that i stayed for the rest of the 2.5 hours, and managed to 'assist' in the fitting of a zimmer split!
(omg i sound like an overly enthusiasticmedical student junior doctor now - but better enthusiastic and apathetic and complacent, i say!)
this got me thinking about the countless opportunities i have missed over the past 4 months - there will always be regrets but this has only given me a wake up call to seize every opportunity that presents itself over the next few years (and beyond!). i have caught myself thinking that i should have followed the physiotherapists around for a few sessions to see what they do, i should have scrubbed in for trauma theatre and some elective lists, i should have attended way more trauma and fracture clinics and trauma meetings... i should have learned more about dressings and splints
should've, could've, but wouldn't...
oh well. at least i am now rather confident when it comes to pain medication, and i FINALLY know the dosages (and maximum dosages) of most painkillers, and i also now know the difference between cocodamol and codrydamol and the likes (i remember seeing cocodamol within my first week of arrival in the uk and being so bewildered and confused by it and i never really had the courage to pursue it further). i am also rather comfortable with dealing with antiemetics and laxatives (lmao, as i tell everybody) and know what to do when nurses come up to me telling me that my patient has an itchy nose due to their PCAs (a side effect which apparently only seems to happen in perth -_-) i guess i have also learned about warfarin prescribing and sliding scales and blood transfusions and how to prescribe them, and am no longer petrified when faced with having to request xrays and fill in BTS forms
haha ok i should stop.
anyway - my next relevation is a rather more significant and possibly life-altering one. i was looking through my retrospectroscope and was examining my decision of ending up staying in dundee... was then thinking about doing a taster week in oncology (while on the toilet, HAHA) and i realised that ward 32 is honestly and actually quite a depressing ward and if i ended up doing oncology i don't think i would want to work there eventually - also i've been encouraged to pursue oncology elsewhere, so...
i understand why i chose to stay on, that fateful day more than a year ago, and i don't really regret that decision - i still think it was the right one to make at that point in time. however, i have come to the conclusion that there is nothing left here for me, and it is time for a change of scene. the reason i chose to stay is gradually losing its appeal, and its about time i built a new life for myself somewhere else.
where, is now the question. well. i don't know. the world is my oyster. the states, australia, new zealand or maybe scotland (just somewhere else besides dundee), who knows?
the good news is that all this has stirred up in me an urgent and pressing need to start learning medicine again - for this i must also thank sweeleen and mezhen, i guess. HAHA GUESS WHAT I THINK I AM GOING TO READ LILLY'S ON THE BUS TOMORROW MORNING -_- i sorely miss the days of imu bj where i would just be totally consumed by the act of studying and learning medicine and how i loved every second of it. it didn't start of with me doing it by choice, but i had to do it out of necessity. it was a struggle for the first few days, and then it became fun, and then it became a compulsion.
... and then the exams were over and all was lost. HAHA.
anyway. i should be sleeping - my eyebags horrified the shit outta me when i first looked at my face properly in the mirror since i can't remember when.
i think i'm just sad i have to leave ortho soon. i keep thinking about how it was as a medical student, and how spending 4 weeks in a ward isn't really enough and why nurses don't bother getting to know students that well. just when you're warming up to somebody, he/she leaves. just like that. like a flower which blooms only for 5 minutes after you spend 4 weeks slaving on it. it takes a toll on you. i feel so attached to most of my nurses, and it genuinely saddens me to have to say goodbye so soon. :(
but que sera sera, and i will still be able to see them when they bleep me irately for discharge scripts for my boarders for the next 4 months, so... :D
ok gnite
i was attending my first (and possibly last) trauma clinic session with mr gmcl and jr because i had to get a mini-cex and cbd signed off, and it was the best and most rewarding experience i've had since i started work. the exhilaration from being introduced as jr's colleague and as a junior doctor for the first time ever in an outpatient setting (pre-assessment clinics don't count), being treated like an adult, actually being allowed to read the patient's notes so that it would aid me in making my decision-making and being left alone to talk to and examine the patient and then to formulate my own diagnoses and then present it back to jr... it was so exciting, and i actually felt medically alive and that made my entire day! i was hooked after diagnosing the first patient (who had a lipoma - a very simple diagnosis which wouldn't be worth mentioning under normal circumstances but baby steps!), so much so that i stayed for the rest of the 2.5 hours, and managed to 'assist' in the fitting of a zimmer split!
(omg i sound like an overly enthusiastic
this got me thinking about the countless opportunities i have missed over the past 4 months - there will always be regrets but this has only given me a wake up call to seize every opportunity that presents itself over the next few years (and beyond!). i have caught myself thinking that i should have followed the physiotherapists around for a few sessions to see what they do, i should have scrubbed in for trauma theatre and some elective lists, i should have attended way more trauma and fracture clinics and trauma meetings... i should have learned more about dressings and splints
should've, could've, but wouldn't...
oh well. at least i am now rather confident when it comes to pain medication, and i FINALLY know the dosages (and maximum dosages) of most painkillers, and i also now know the difference between cocodamol and codrydamol and the likes (i remember seeing cocodamol within my first week of arrival in the uk and being so bewildered and confused by it and i never really had the courage to pursue it further). i am also rather comfortable with dealing with antiemetics and laxatives (lmao, as i tell everybody) and know what to do when nurses come up to me telling me that my patient has an itchy nose due to their PCAs (a side effect which apparently only seems to happen in perth -_-) i guess i have also learned about warfarin prescribing and sliding scales and blood transfusions and how to prescribe them, and am no longer petrified when faced with having to request xrays and fill in BTS forms
haha ok i should stop.
anyway - my next relevation is a rather more significant and possibly life-altering one. i was looking through my retrospectroscope and was examining my decision of ending up staying in dundee... was then thinking about doing a taster week in oncology (while on the toilet, HAHA) and i realised that ward 32 is honestly and actually quite a depressing ward and if i ended up doing oncology i don't think i would want to work there eventually - also i've been encouraged to pursue oncology elsewhere, so...
i understand why i chose to stay on, that fateful day more than a year ago, and i don't really regret that decision - i still think it was the right one to make at that point in time. however, i have come to the conclusion that there is nothing left here for me, and it is time for a change of scene. the reason i chose to stay is gradually losing its appeal, and its about time i built a new life for myself somewhere else.
where, is now the question. well. i don't know. the world is my oyster. the states, australia, new zealand or maybe scotland (just somewhere else besides dundee), who knows?
the good news is that all this has stirred up in me an urgent and pressing need to start learning medicine again - for this i must also thank sweeleen and mezhen, i guess. HAHA GUESS WHAT I THINK I AM GOING TO READ LILLY'S ON THE BUS TOMORROW MORNING -_- i sorely miss the days of imu bj where i would just be totally consumed by the act of studying and learning medicine and how i loved every second of it. it didn't start of with me doing it by choice, but i had to do it out of necessity. it was a struggle for the first few days, and then it became fun, and then it became a compulsion.
... and then the exams were over and all was lost. HAHA.
anyway. i should be sleeping - my eyebags horrified the shit outta me when i first looked at my face properly in the mirror since i can't remember when.
i think i'm just sad i have to leave ortho soon. i keep thinking about how it was as a medical student, and how spending 4 weeks in a ward isn't really enough and why nurses don't bother getting to know students that well. just when you're warming up to somebody, he/she leaves. just like that. like a flower which blooms only for 5 minutes after you spend 4 weeks slaving on it. it takes a toll on you. i feel so attached to most of my nurses, and it genuinely saddens me to have to say goodbye so soon. :(
but que sera sera, and i will still be able to see them when they bleep me irately for discharge scripts for my boarders for the next 4 months, so... :D
ok gnite
Saturday, December 3, 2011
20? 21?
i don't even know what day it is anymore, is it saturday? is it sunday? i don't really know -_- not that it matters since i will still have to go to work every day until next friday anyway.
was going to attempt to swap a weekend so that i could go to the christmas markets in edinburgh and glasgow with yuen khai and ben
but i have now decided that i probably won't because i am too tired for shit like that
(not referring to going for christmas markets, i don't think anybody could be too tired for christmas markets!)
sorely need to stay out of the hospital for more than 24 hours. i swear when next weekend comes i will be in bed for the better part of saturday. lmao. will be having the house to myself, YES PLEASE THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
-
on a more serious note, i'd also say that having worked such a long stretch has also given me quite a lot of insight into what being a doctor entails, and the very profound effects simple acts of kindness can have on patients
have had to deal with several stroppy radiographers, BTS technicians/on-call lab techs and phlebotomists who often ruin my day, but the patients and nurses (who are a tremendously wonderful bunch whom i shall miss very dearly!) help keep me borderline sane
(i strongly advise any highly enthusiastic doctors/doctors-to-be against working more than 12 days in a row if you can help it - the range of emotions i have felt over the past almost-3-weeks has been hellish and overwhelming)
anyway i am feeling quite tearful now because i am too tired so i really should get some sleep
good night!
was going to attempt to swap a weekend so that i could go to the christmas markets in edinburgh and glasgow with yuen khai and ben
but i have now decided that i probably won't because i am too tired for shit like that
(not referring to going for christmas markets, i don't think anybody could be too tired for christmas markets!)
sorely need to stay out of the hospital for more than 24 hours. i swear when next weekend comes i will be in bed for the better part of saturday. lmao. will be having the house to myself, YES PLEASE THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
-
on a more serious note, i'd also say that having worked such a long stretch has also given me quite a lot of insight into what being a doctor entails, and the very profound effects simple acts of kindness can have on patients
have had to deal with several stroppy radiographers, BTS technicians/on-call lab techs and phlebotomists who often ruin my day, but the patients and nurses (who are a tremendously wonderful bunch whom i shall miss very dearly!) help keep me borderline sane
(i strongly advise any highly enthusiastic doctors/doctors-to-be against working more than 12 days in a row if you can help it - the range of emotions i have felt over the past almost-3-weeks has been hellish and overwhelming)
anyway i am feeling quite tearful now because i am too tired so i really should get some sleep
good night!
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