ignorance; (your) bliss

what they see is a snapshot of the moment, and they judge you.

what they don't see is things that have happened over the past 5 years. things are way more complicated that you'll ever care to fathom, dearie.

I would never treat him the way you think I am.

#20

what song reminds you of your youth?

stan by eminem featuring dido

this song played constantly on hitz.fm when i stayed up home alone waiting for my mom/dad to come home from work. i remember the warm, sticky nights, and me dreading my math homework, and how the radio was on because i was desperate for some noise

dido's haunting voice still brings up waves of (unpleasant) nostalgia in me, and the splash of stan's car crashing into the water (i used to mistake this for the sound of people jumping into the pool on the first floor of my condo - i never was comfortable with the idea of people swimming at night, being in swimming pools at night creeps the freak out of me, another reason why this song deeply unsettles me)

haha, i guess that speaks volumes about my youth in general, eh?

#19

what do you do when you love someone who doesn't love you back?

:) i suppose you can tell a lot about people by the answer they give to this question.

i think i would probably just let time take its course

however

i also suppose it depends on who the person we are talking about is

...

inbetweeners

when i decided on agreed to watching the inbetweeners, i didn't expect to leave the cinema feeling... sad.

anyhoo.

lots of things have happened since the 28th of august.

i attended to two patients just hours before they passed away (their deaths had nothing to do with me, obviously). i cannulated mr jn to give him some fluids and antibiotics, and i attempted to take arterial blood gas samples from mrs cm as she was desaturating and deteriorating.

mr jn was severely demented with a history of parkinsonism - he was a very lovely man. mrs cm was equally lovely, she was demented as well, and she did not make a single complaint as she was being stabbed repeatedly for blood gas samples - she just clung tighter to her soft toy rabbit, which was called james.

i have also seen two patients who i am extremely fond of, mr nk and mr nr, come back in with infected hips and knees. they were fine and were going home shortly after i left for the day.

i performed my first successful abg on a human, i performed my second borderline-emergency catheterisation on a patient

so... yeah.

work is amazing and it makes me do unbelievable things. for example, i now only use my laptop during the weekends because i can no longer be bothered to turn the thing on, and i no longer have the energy reserves to deal with operating sophisticated pieces of electronic devices. besides, i have a slight fear of being overwhelmed and overstimulated by the goings on in the universe...

oh god. i'm speaking like a 50 year old. however, this also means that i am now way more reliant on my phone and iPad, which means that i can't possibly be all that out of touch with technology, right...?

anyway, i am off to bed now, good night!

ps. Upon rereading this entry i have come to realise that i sound quite incoherent. i blame this on feeling sleepy and having to type a big part of this entry on an iPad - not the easiest thing to do in the world...